I suck at blogs

Seriously.  Practically zero commitment here.  Congrats on 25 years, internet.  I suck at you.

Abraham, Morgan, and Mom

Thanks to last night's adventures, Morgan is now officially worth one penny. Because that's what's in her tummy. But let me back up. . .

I gave the kids their toothbrushes, then headed downstairs to let the crazy dancing dog out to pee. When I got back inside, the kids were downstairs, and Morgan was complaining that Max put her penny in his mouth. I told him to spit it out, and that we only put food in our mouths. We went upstairs to find Chad cleaning up a giant water mess that Max had created in the bathroom (in about 20 seconds of unsupervised time). I finished cleaning it, while listening to Morgan whining in her room. Suddenly, her whining changed to panic, and she came into the bathroom. I said, "What. . . did you put that in your mouth? Did you swallow it?". She was crying, and looked so ashamed. I kicked the wet towels out of the way, sat her on the toilet, and asked where the penny was. She pointed to her stomach. At least it wasn't caught in her throat. I moved everyone into the living room. Morgan played with her Leapster while I researched pennies (she will poop it out, and she is not happy about it); then I wrestled Max into jammies. I got him safely into bed, and then did story time with Morgan. Once her bedroom door was closed, I plopped onto the couch with a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade, and episode 5 of The Walking Dead, and called it a day.

That was the most hectic 30 minutes of my life.

Name that Band!

Chlamydia Koala
and their #1 hit, "Shot in the Ass"
B side: "You Can Love Me, You Can Leave Me, Eucalyptus"

With thanks to my fly pals, and their knowledge of STDs carried by cuddly animals.

Another Good Band Name

Pants Optional.

That Would Be a Good Name for a Band

Maximum Cheese

You're welcome, garage band. I will accept a band t-shirt as payment.

Extreme Fashion Savings!

I just spent $20.31 on myself. I can hear you saying, "But Jen, you never spend money on yourself! What can you possibly have purchased?". BEHOLD!

Taupe Tencel Linen Cargo Pant 1.88
Black Tencel Linen Cargo Pant 1.88
Key Ring Sweater 1.56
Cute Buckle Sweater 1.56
Charisma Colorblock Cardigan 3.13
Out And About Tee 1.25
Spring Breeze Linen Blouse 1.88
A Sweet Delight Plaid Capri 1.56
In-the-bag Tencel-blend Shorts 1.88
In-the-bag Tencel-blend Shorts 1.88
New Destinations Wide Leg Pant 1.85
Subtotal $20.31
Shipping & Handling $0.00
Total $20.31
BOOM!

Some company called Monterey Bay is having a major clearance sale. 75% off on top of clearance prices, plus free shipping. Did I order fuschia and orange capris that are totally out of character for me? Heck yes--they were $1.88! I totalled up the pre-discount total on that order: $689.89. Aw crud, now I'm compelled to get the total savings. Hang on while I do math. . . 97%! Wow, I'm like those extreme coupon ladies.

What was going on in my head?

So back in high school, I had myself convinced that if I could just ride a unicycle, I would be cool. Clearly, I was never destined for coolness.

I never did get a unicycle.