Name that Band!

Chlamydia Koala
and their #1 hit, "Shot in the Ass"
B side: "You Can Love Me, You Can Leave Me, Eucalyptus"

With thanks to my fly pals, and their knowledge of STDs carried by cuddly animals.

Another Good Band Name

Pants Optional.

That Would Be a Good Name for a Band

Maximum Cheese

You're welcome, garage band. I will accept a band t-shirt as payment.

Extreme Fashion Savings!

I just spent $20.31 on myself. I can hear you saying, "But Jen, you never spend money on yourself! What can you possibly have purchased?". BEHOLD!

Taupe Tencel Linen Cargo Pant 1.88
Black Tencel Linen Cargo Pant 1.88
Key Ring Sweater 1.56
Cute Buckle Sweater 1.56
Charisma Colorblock Cardigan 3.13
Out And About Tee 1.25
Spring Breeze Linen Blouse 1.88
A Sweet Delight Plaid Capri 1.56
In-the-bag Tencel-blend Shorts 1.88
In-the-bag Tencel-blend Shorts 1.88
New Destinations Wide Leg Pant 1.85
Subtotal $20.31
Shipping & Handling $0.00
Total $20.31
BOOM!

Some company called Monterey Bay is having a major clearance sale. 75% off on top of clearance prices, plus free shipping. Did I order fuschia and orange capris that are totally out of character for me? Heck yes--they were $1.88! I totalled up the pre-discount total on that order: $689.89. Aw crud, now I'm compelled to get the total savings. Hang on while I do math. . . 97%! Wow, I'm like those extreme coupon ladies.

What was going on in my head?

So back in high school, I had myself convinced that if I could just ride a unicycle, I would be cool. Clearly, I was never destined for coolness.

I never did get a unicycle.

Four eyes, zero dates

So. . . we've hit a bit of a dry spell on the gigs. I'm going to switch gears here, and post about the awkward things I did while growing up. Random memories keep popping up lately--maybe my brain is hoping my daughter will avoid doing these things. Or maybe I'm just overtired.

When I was 16, I got glasses. And braces. And I had the world's worst bangs. They wouldn't do that giant poufy thing that all the popular girls did with their bangs (and now, looking back at the pictures, I am grateful for that). They were just a giant, dark mat. So to go with all this awesomeness, I decided that I needed Becca Thatcher glasses. Remember her, from Life Goes On? With Corky? And while we're at it, remember that show with Wilford Brimley and Deidre Hall, and that blonde boy who I totally had a crush on, but later learned was gay (as were most of my early crushes--I'm looking at you, Doogie).

So I got giant, burgundy framed glasses, to be like Becca. And then I met Chad Lowe, and we fell in love, but he turned out to be HIV positive, and I didn't care, and we got married, and then he died. OR, I got my Becca glasses, and then didn't date ANYONE for four years.

So very awkward.

Next time, I'll tell you about Teenage Jen's belief that unicycle riding = popularity.

Giggity giggity

We have a gig tonight. Today, I got up at 6am with the baby, nursed her, gave her cereal, made myself breakfast, played with the baby, got her down for a nap, did two loads of laundry, nursed the baby again, cereal again, got frozen pizzas and pop at the store for the sitter, helped my husband jump-start the SUV when the battery died, took a shower, did my hair, and now I'm waiting for the sitter, while the baby takes her 2nd nap. I am so NOT focused on performing. It's funny, though--as soon as I get to the gig, I'll be in rock mode. And as soon as we finish our last song, I'll immediately be thinking about getting home to the baby.

Right now, I need a nap.